Malcolm X and Muhammad Ali: A Short Note on Friendship
Turning my back on Malcolm was one of the mistakes that I regret most in my life…If I could go back and do it over again, I would never have turned my back on him — Muhammad Ali
You owe everyone the benefit of the doubt, you owe those you call your friends a little more than that. Muhammad Ali was 23 years old — young and impressionable — when Malcolm X was killed. Before then, he’d turned his back on his former friend when they met in Accra. Their friendship was short but it was especially consequential to Ali’s mentality and faith. What hurts me the most in their story is that both men never had any differences of their own, it was just a young Ali choosing to stand with his spiritual leader at the time. He wouldn’t even express hurt at the death of his former friend and brother. Ali later expressed regrets for his actions.
I wonder if you are reading this and you turned your back on a friend, not because of what they did or said to you, but because someone you respect said to turn your back on them. Friends can have differences, and friendships can break up. But the least you owe your friends and would be former friends is the opportunity to iron out your differences, one-on-one.
Do not sacrifice those you call your sisters and brothers on the altar of other people’s egos and games. Many friendships have been lost to this. If you still have a salvageable one, call for a conversation. It may not even end up with you saving the friendship, but you would have at least ensured that you did what you had to do and that you gave the other person the benefit of the doubt.
That’s the least we owe one another, the benefit of the doubt. If anyone says your friend said something about you but they would prefer you do not tell or discuss that thing with your friend, be wary. Often, those are the seeds of discord that only end up souring promising relationships. These things often then extend beyond the people directly involved. Do not entertain it. And do not be the type of person to sow such seeds.
Also, be wary of inheriting other people’s enemies, not even that of your parents — except if those other people’s actions had a direct impact on you. You are going to make or earn your own enemies, one way or another. There is no use adding more bodies to that count that aren’t your bodies. We need to create more room for friendship and growth. This does not mean to become friends with everyone — that’s not even healthy — but to not go out of our way to make enemies and to make it easy to create networks that make good change happen.
